The Man With The Golden Football

Sparrow: Frankie… you are back from Switzerland. How was the tournament? The final soccer game was great.

Frankie: It’s called football, not soccer. How many times do I have to tell you? Stupid Americans, you guys keep trying to change the name of the beautiful game.

Sparrow: I’m sorry. I guess the word "football" is more descriptive of the game… kicking a ball with the feet!

Frankie: Exactly. That’s my point. If you pay attention, American Football is played mostly with the hands so you people should called “handball.”

Sparrow: Stop giving a hard time… I didn’t come up with the word “soccer.” So, did you bring me a post card?

Frankie: No… You can’t read anyway.

Waiter: What’s up Frankie... How was the soccer tournament?

Frankie: Stop calling it soccer, it’s called football! It was great. I’m sorry the U.S. team didn’t qualify.

Waiter: I’m not surprised because our national team sucks! Will we ever win the World Cup?

Frankie: That’s pretty unlikely. I think it’s easier to elect a black president than having a championship team caliber.

Man at the Bar: Frankie… Brazil played like crap. Looks like they still haven’t recovered from the Maracanazo.

Frankie: I agreed. That team was a huge disappointment… But they have this emerging star named Pele. I heard he’s awesome… Let me show you something.

Man at the Bar: Is that a drum?

Frankie: Yes, but a very special drum. This is what fans use to cheer up their team.

Willy: Pretty cool drum… Soccer is for girls anyway. Come with me; let’s go watch a real football game.

Frankie: As I said before, we call it football not soccer. But I don’t want to waste my time with you. People like you will never understand what football means to us.